Why I Support No on Proposition 8 in California: How Much Love and Respect is in Your Heart?

Vote No On Proposition 8

There are some issues I feel very strongly about in the upcoming November 4th election. One of them is California’s No on Proposition 8. I recently commented on Louis Gray’s blog post, , “Prop 8 Tangles Religion, Tech and Politics,” as follows:

I appreciate your post, Louis, and the thoughtful replies here. As I have commented on FriendFeed and Chris Messina’s, aka FactoryJoe’s, recent blog post, it’s really an obvious choice for me—No on Prop. 8 is what’s right on humanistic, legal and human rights levels. I have mentioned that I was recently married in a civil ceremony to my domestic partner of 16.5 yrs., and on the day that we got married (Oct. 10th), we were very moved by the number of gay and lesbian couples who were joyously marrying at the same time. Being there, and having other friends who have either married or had commitment ceremonies as gay or lesbian couples, it was totally clear and obvious to me that the quality and intentions of their marriages were no different than mine.

My husband and I congratulated these other couples, as they congratulated us. Some of them had children, and I feel one of the most harmful and painful aspects of nulling these marriages if Prop. 8 passes will be how it will affect the children of gay and lesbian parents. With all this talk about how gay marriage will supposedly affect children in school—which I think is a false and totally insidious argument of the pro-Prop 8 campaign—is anyone talking about how voiding gay marriage will affect not only the adults, but the children being raised by gay and lesbian parents? These are families, too, and those children’s rights and well-being should be considered equal to the well-being of any other children.

I get very upset and passionate about this issue because I grew up with at least one gay person in my family (one that I know about, who trusted me enough to reveal their true feelings about their sexual orientation, for which I feel very honored because I know how difficult that was for them). I am very close to what my relative has gone through, and I can assure you that this loved one did not “choose” to be gay, and that being gay should in no way be paralleled to “having a substance abuse problem” or some other mental health challenge. In no way would I be able to deny my relative or my close friends who happen to be gay or lesbian the same equal rights and protections of the law that my husband and I have.

There’s a lot more I could say about all of this, as I have had two long-term relationships that were considered marriages by all our relatives and friends (I was widowed in the first one). For a long time, I have not believed in the need to get married, either in the eyes of the state or the eyes of any particular religion. I still do not believe anyone should have to get married to enjoy the same rights as legally married people, whether they are gay or straight. Our own decision was a very personal one, and no, California does not have common law marriage, or I would have been married legally in both of my long-term relationships (over 7 yrs. in both).

For me, it’s really very simple—do you love other people enough to allow them to be as happy and fulfilled as they want to be, making their own choice about how they want to live? Do you respect other human beings enough to give them equal rights, justice and protection under the law, even if you disagree with them for any reason, be it your religion or otherwise? The choice is simple—let’s not make it too hard. If you have a mind and can think, and you believe in a God that made you that way, you have the freedom and responsibility to disagree with your own religion, or the way it’s being practiced in specific instances. Yes, I said the word responsibility. Please keep that in mind when you vote.

In 25 yrs., and I hope sooner, we’ll look back on this as we do now on the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s, and we’ll wonder why we didn’t make gay and lesbian people equal under the law sooner. As soon as there’s a tipping point in society where the majority support No on 8 (and its equivalent in other states), things will change. Like any minority movement, the struggle will go on until equal justice prevails; and I do have faith that it will ultimately prevail. We shall overcome any resistance, if we have enough love and respect.

UPDATE: Here’s a new No on Prop 8 video that was posted to YouTube on November 2nd:

Parents for NO on Prop 8

Originally posted as a comment by Cathryn Hrudicka on louisgray.com using Disqus.

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One Comment

  1. Posted October 25, 2008 at 7:54 pm | Permalink

    I loved your comment and loved your following up here. Congratulations on your marriage and your wonderful relationship. I hope we can put divisiveness behind us and find ways to embrace others’ differences. I’m glad I was able to share and be as transparent as I could. This is a very important issue to so many, and frankly, I’m frustrated that it’s come to this. Wishing you the best.

One Trackback

  1. By perfect golf swing on February 12, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    perfect golf swing…

    hmmm…….interesting thoughts….

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